Leaving on a Jet Plane….
Posted by: Mal LaSalle on: March 7, 2010
…don’t know when I’ll be back again 
It’s easy to surrender your life to a licensed pilot versus one who never flew a plane before.
Luggage is checked.
Boarding pass in hand.
iPod fully charged.
I’m ready to fly.
Sweet Dream
Posted by: Mal LaSalle on: February 24, 2010
…or Beautiful Nightmare.
Lately [read: the last 2 months] I’ve been having vivid-soap opera- E! True Hollywood Story-like dreams. The kind that are in color and involve people that I actually know in some way. Weirdest thing about these dreams are the fact that the only come during twilight on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Selective dreaming much?
iSwear. They seem so real, but they are not.
Grandma always said,”don’t share your dreams unless you want ‘em to come true.”
I believe her.
Lessons Learned from Boomerang Vol. 2
Posted by: Mal LaSalle on: February 22, 2010
While watching the premiere of Sinbad’s latest comedy routine on Comedy Central with the fam, an E-harmony commercial aired. The following is the conversation that ensued following a revelation that my sis had a profile on the site.
Me: *yelling from the couch in living room* Hey Beth, they just showed a black couple. Maybe you should update your profile.
Beth: I know right? *walks in living room* I need to get on that ASAP.
Pops: *Gives Beth Side-eye of Death* You on E-harmony?!
Beth: Huh? What you mean?
Pops: Huh, my ass. I said, ‘You on E-harmony?’
Beth: Dad, I got one of those trial thangs. It’s one time only.
Mom: Yeah, one time…until you end up like that Lacey-Natalie girl.
Me: Who?! Lacey Petersen, Ma?
Mom: Yeah, her.
Me: Umm… she was killed by her husband.
Mom: Naw, the Duggar Girl…the one with the kids.
Me: Ma, she was KIDNAPPED by a PREDATOR at 13. Her name is Jacy.
Mom: Oh, yeah that’s right. My ‘bag’
Pops: *Interrupts Ma* But, Beth…Did you take a pic of your feet?
Beth: My Feet? Why Dad?
Pops: We can’t have too many ‘Boomerangs’ around here. Fella got to know what he getting into!
Beth: What you Trying to Say, Dad? My feet ain’t Baaaaaaad.
Pops: I’m just saying. He GOT to know!
MORAL OF THE STORY: Let him know what he getting into.
Thanks Pops.
I am not my hair…
Posted by: Mal LaSalle on: February 9, 2010
- In: Reflections
- 1 Comment
…but that bish is getting nappy as all get out. I decided over 3 months ago or so to finally go Natural.
I haven’t relaxed my hair since October 23rd. Didn’t get a big chop, I’m not that bold. SO I’m growing out my relaxer and trimming my ends. All I got is my yarn braids, nappy roots and bout 3.5 inches of new growth.
I’m ÜBER exited.
I want her hair when I’m finished.
Paranoid…No Kanye
Posted by: Mal LaSalle on: January 22, 2010
- In: Health | Reflections
- Leave a Comment
“All of the time, you really wanna spend your whole life alone
A little time out might do ya good, might do us good before you’re done for good”
I woke up last Friday and my smile had changed. Totally of-kilter. I mean pure dee full on ‘stroke-face’. A stark difference from the day before.
To know me, you have to understand that smiling is a very important part of me. It’s one of the first things you see when you see me. One of the consistencies and most honest things about me. I love to laugh and I love to smile. If my smile is off, something is wrong.
So imagine my shock and horror when I tried to brush my teeth and the water ran down the side of my chin, instead of streaming into the sink. I started bugging.
All kinds of thoughts like “what in the Jermaine ‘I use one jar of 99-cent Ampro gel daily’ Jackson hell is going on? I’m freaking 22 years old, I cannot be having a stroke right now.” I start doing the stroke test that my parents posted on the fridge: raise both hands, stick out tongue, and smile. Then it hit me….my body was fine, it was just my face. Read the rest of this entry »
SocialVibe